Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A Five Pager I wrote today

The Trap

Thank you to Ernest Hemingway.

Infomation on Cuban Lobster Fishing: and on Lobster Fishing: This all makes for some fascinating reading and will get you in the mind of what it is like for these two men.

The Setting (a boat, full schematics):

The lobster season has not been good and these two men are desperate for a good catch. The weather is not going to be good, and the clouds in the sky are a sure sign of that.

Captain: A tough, older man who has seen many seasons on a crab boat. Carries a gun at his belt. Strong and sinewy, made of rope with dark and wrinkled skin. His clothing is old, a dark pair of pants, and a yellowed shirt with a collar as well as a dirty ball cap on his head. The captain is a temperamental, and even more so when things are not going his way.

First Mate: Slightly younger then the captain, but still not a young man, the first mate is the Captain's confidant and partner. They have worked together for many, many years. He has on some ripped pants and no shirt. His physique is one that you would normally see on a younger man. There is a small, sparse mustache under his upper lip.

PAGE ONE (Three Panels)

Panel 1. Establishing shot. A small Cuban fishing vessel (this is a full schematic of the boat) is out at sea, flying a Cuban flag. Two men are on the deck of the boat, the Captain and the First Mate. The weather is dark, and clouds in the sky are ominous at best. The boat has no lobster pots on board as they are going to harvest them.

Panel 2. The Captain looking over the small hull of the boat. This shot is a closeup from the side. His face is stern and proud, weathered and ageless. His hair in the back of his ball cap is being blown slightly by the wind.

Panel 3. Medium shot. The First Mate is taking a cigarette package from his pocket. He stands slightly back from the Captain.

PAGE TWO (A Six Panel Grid)

Panel 1. The First Mate taking a cigarette from the package. This is a shot of his hands only. The cigarette is still slightly in the box, and the bottom of his face is visible in the panel.

Panel 2. The First Mate taking a lighter from his pocket. The lighter is halfway out and is a silver zippo style lighter that is tarnished and well used. There is a small heart on the lighter.

Panel 3. The First Mate holding the lighter up to the cigarette. There is a small cherry beginning, and some smoke puffing from the freshly lit cigarette. Focus more on the cigarette being lit, then on the face behind it.

Panel 4. The Captain of the ship. Very similar to the shot on Page 1, Panel 2.

Panel 5.The First Mate with a look of sadness on his face. Pull back a little, and let us see his torso. The cigarette is in his hand.


*Translated from Spanish

Panel 6. The Captain. Similar to Panel 4.


PAGE THREE (A six panel grid)

Panel 1. The First Mate taking a cigarette from his pocket. Similar to Page Two, Panel One.

Panel 2. The First Mate lighting a cigarette. Similar to Page Two, Panel Three.

Panel 3. The cigarette being passed from the First Mate to the Captain.

Panel 4. The Captain taking a drag from the cigarette.


Panel 5 and Panel 6. Separated by the gutter but one image.

The Captain and the First Mate both smoking. The Captain has the cigarette hanging from his lips and has both hands on the wheel while the First Mate is holding the cigarette to his lips.

PAGE FOUR (A six panel grid)

Panel 1. The First Mate.


Panel 2. The Captain's face straight on. The cigarette between his teeth is glowing hot red, but his face is relaxed.

Panel 3. The Captain's gun in its holster.

Panel 4. The Captain's hand on his gun.

Panel 5. The First Mate. His face looks sad. He is staring down at the cigarette in his hands.


Panel 6. The Captain's hand squeezing the handle of his gun. The Captain's knuckles are red with a faint whiteness around the middle.

PAGE FIVE (A six panel grid)

Panel 1 and Panel 2. The gutter again separates what makes one image. A medium shot. The Captain has a tear streaming down his face. Behind his the First Mate looks out to the ocean.


Panel 3. The First Mate. A closeup.


Panel 4. The first mate flicking his cigarette out into the ocean.

Panel 5. The cigarette butt. A worm's eye view as the boat is small and in the background.

Panel 6. The ship from a bird's eye view. The Captain steering while the First Mate stands behind him. There are lobster buoys in the water.

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